BRANDOS BOMBS 2017#2
Friday, January 20th 2017

Good afternoon Bombers and welcome back. Tough weekend on the punt last weekend with a plethora of sport – tennis, big bash, NFL, racing and a little tipple on the soccer. I have worked out – too many events to punt on. It reminds me of my uni days lining up at Sizzler – plenty of food on offer but at the end of the day nothing is any good – not unlike last weekend. Harden up Brando you say – I am and to use racing parlance – “just straighten her up and get back on the bit”.  As the great Hymie from Get Smart (the actor who played him died last Friday) said about the Sports Widow “ I guess we’re not wired the same”


BRANDOS BOMBS 2017#1
Friday, January 13th 2017

Good afternoon Bombers and Happy New Year Bombers Yada yada yada. I read The Sports Widow and The Duke complaining they needed a holiday for their holiday. Each to their own. I had a lovely week down the coast – beach, pool and plenty of cans watching the Test and all forms of sport. A little bit of Festivus for the rest of us whilst scrolling through Facebook looking at all these miserable shots of families skiing in Japan, Canada or the US. I can understand their angst, particularly the fathers – the $A is not exactly trading at its peak and they could see my photos of a can and the cricket in the background!! The New Year has arrived and not much has changed – Big Bash both men and women, the races and my new-found interest in the NFL – good game for cans!! Goes for 3 hours and plenty of time for can refills and piss breaks.


BRANDOS BOMBS #017
Saturday, December 10th 2016

Good morning Bombers – Well – Brando (the horse) performed like his namesake at Eagle Farm – “very coltish”!!! I hope for his sake that he is not in line for the ultimate gear change. We will follow the ups and downs of Brando the horse and I can proudly say he is now our first mascot. As predicted the Wallabies were not up to the class of England and soundly beaten. The Aussie cricket team blasted the Black Caps off the park – more on that below. The Pipe Masters on hold in Hawaii and The Sports Widow has already gone on holidays – as they say “only a rort if you are not involved”. A bit of shrinkage on this week’s Bombs due to a quite weekend of sport – I liken it to the incident George Costanza suffered after being seen naked by Jerry’s girlfriend – “I WAS IN THE POOL” Here we go:


BRANDOS BOMBS #016
Saturday, December 3rd 2016

Good afternoon Bombers – Go Brando, kick Brando, your home Brando, Brando you genius!! This could be any number of things people have cheered for – a length of the field try I scored (plenty of them) or me kicking home in the 25m freestyle at The Camp Hill State School grade one trials, but it is neither of them or any other of my numerous sporting glory days. No, it is Eagle Farm race 2 no 4 - Brando owned by BRC Chairman Neville Bell and trained by John and Chris Meagher. Clearly Neville has seen me in action and named his 2yo colt (whom I am going to meet at the track today) after my athletic prowess. I have seen a photo of him and I can definitely see the parallels between Brando and Brando– strong, good looking, a deft touch with the filly’s and a big set of ……. I will be posting to Youtube of the heroic efforts of my namesake at about 1pm- so jump on Youtube and search “brando the horse.” I was going to give a rundown of other sports but this race is a milestone for Sports360°. Here we go:


BRANDOS BOMBS #015
Friday, November 25th 2016

Good afternoon Bombers – As I write this (745 am today as I have a lunch to go to) the Australian Cricket team are reborn!! I have never heard so much sh.t since Anthony Mundine claimed himself The Greatest. More on that below. The Kangaroos demolished the Kiwis and rightly reclaimed their place as the best of four teams or basically beat The Kiwis this time. Another Costanza moment – Wallabies up by 2 points in Paris but once again I reiterate the teams they have played are second rate compared to England and Ireland.  Ireland this weekend and England the following weekend. The Aussie golf open was taken home by Jordan Spieth after all the Aussies imploded when they had their hands on the trophy – Greg Norman – “maybe the force be with you”. Not much on this weekend you may say – incorrect. I have found plenty of sport to watch, listen to and have a wager on. As “Fast Eddie Felsen” said  to Minnesota Fats “Rack em up.” Here we go: 


BRANDOS BOMBS #014
Friday, November 18th 2016

Good afternoon Bombers – Australian cricket is in turmoil. Why did the bookies have The Proteas at $4.20 at the start of the Hobart test match?? By the end of day 1 The Proteas were $1.30 and probably overs at that price. More on this below. Mal Smellyourfinger gave Benny a lesson in coaching and humility guiding The Kangaroos to an easy win over The Poms. Now for The Kiwis and redemption for the Kangas. The Wallabies continued on their winning ways albeit with a get out of jail card from the ref. Paris awaits this weekend. The Socceroos have the draw yips and need to lift their game if they wish to continue to the World Cup in 2018. Conor McGregor matched his Irish craic with a second round thumping of Alvarez in the Hexagon on Sunday and last but not least The Nikars beat the Monarhs in the Latvian Futsal champs. As Mrs Davis says to Jay Trotter in the movie Let it Ride – “there’s a fine line between winning and losing” to which Jay Trotter replied “yeah, the finish line.” Here we go:


BRANDOS BOMBS #013
Friday, November 11th 2016

Good afternoon Bombers – a flogging in the cricket by the Yarpees in Perth (with their bowling strike weapon injured after day 2). The Wallabies played out of their skin – another Costanza moment for me!! The Duke was on fire with the Falcons covering the line, The Ravens home at $3.40 and The Packers covering the line – 3/3 Duke – well done. Tough day at the track last Saturday to finish the Carnival but I managed to finish square!!?? That old chestnut I can hear The Sports Widow saying. Then Big Donald Trump trumped Hilary Clinton to become The President elect. I was always told never talk about religion or politics but the ridiculous frenzy in Australia about his win was farcical – if you want democracy you cop the consequences. Here in Oz we have had Palmer/Hanson/Family First and the Sex Party – suck it up (no pun intended). Let’s look ahead to a huge weekend of sport and the start of The Sandown Racing Carnival. As the great Irish Comedian Dave Allen said “always look forward because you can’t have a drink at your own wake” Here we go: 


BRANDOS BOMBS MELBOURNE CUP SPECIAL
Monday, October 31st 2016

Good evening Bombers – welcome to Brandos Bombs Melbourne Cup Special. Derby Day was a ripper and finally some favourites got beaten in the later races. McReery a moral beaten in the Cantala Stakes – anyway that was Saturday. One more point – James Cummings – well done Tiger winning the Derby. A few Melbourne Cup stats for punters:


BRANDOS BOMBS #011
Saturday, October 29th 2016

Good morning Bombers – What about Winx – superb – I knew the great mare would win when I tipped Hartnell!!!! Super Saturday today at Flemington – the best race day of the year. It will be a Derby Day focus – you are most welcome to get up at 4.45am to watch The Kangaroos play Scotland or Benny’s Pommie boys play New Zealand, you could watch replays of The John Eales Medal or you could get up and watch a World Movies special – “Australia After Dark” – don’t tell me you have not watched it – took me a while to get through the 1234 Pin on Foxtel. On another front – Gerard Daffy has been plagiarising my odd tips in The Courier Mail – Gerard is tipping Rosenborg in the Tippelgaen – please Big Fella –  I was asked to join Storm Sgodset on the back of my dance moves. You have been found out tiger. As Elene Benes said once “the lobster bisque was the best part” – has not met Brando??!! Here we go:


BRANDOS BOMBS #010
Friday, October 21st 2016

Good afternoon Bombers – The weekend of sport and racing just gone was a cracker. The Kangaroos home easily against a lacklustre Kiwi side. Jameka smashed them in The Caulfield Cup and I tipped a few winners!! Last night The Mighty Diamonds beat the Silver Ferns to win the Constellation Cup series. I was all over that – don’t listen to The Sports Widow – she was a bit tired from a couple of lunches. Anyway – this weekend is a ball tearer of a weekend in sport and racing. The V8 Supercars have hit the glitter strip and I emphasize strip because it is a lucrative weekend for Strippers and their more salubrious cousins (we all know what I mean) from balconies all around the track. The All Blacks host The Wallabies in Auckland. The Horse racing is sublime. Moonee Valley tonight with The Manikato Stakes and tomorrow The Australasian Weight for Age Championship – The Cox Plate. The A League continues – and the much awaited rematch in the Swedish Bandy Comp sees the Villa Lidkoping take on The Sandvikens. To quote the astute and learned George Costanza – “It is the Summer of George” or more likely “the weekend of Brando”. Here we go:


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